Self Doubt – getting ‘me’ back

Its been a long while since I last blogged, it really wasn’t my intention to leave it this long, after two moves in four months and various other excuses that I came up with in my mind I just ‘couldn’t find the time’.  I say this in inverted commas because the truth is if I really wanted to, I could have, in between baby groups, nap times, of an evening somewhere, I could have found the time to do what I love, however that doubt takes over.

I guess the thing is… I really don’t know if I am good enough, I’m worried what people will think about what I write, if I come across as not articulate enough, not interesting, not quite there in people’s estimations. I surely can’t be the only blogger in the whole world who thinks like this when they start out? Am I?!

I do want to mention that I am extremely happy with my life, have an amazing husband, beautiful son and wonderful family.  I’m a very happy/positive person and absolutely love being a stay at home mom which is why I often feel guilt for even feeling this way in the first place! However, this is the way I feel, and as little P is 2 in October I am now on a mission to start getting parts of ‘me’ back that have been somewhat absent since I became a mama.

Before I was a SAHM we made the big decision for me quit the corporate world where I managed a marketing department for a company and go part time while I studied to do an English degree.  When little P came along, for various reasons that deserve a whole different blog post I couldn’t complete this and I fell into being a stay at home mama.  I absolutely LOVE this but it just seems that all of a sudden the other aspects of my life where I was a strong business woman have suddenly disappeared and along with that my confidence in these areas.

Amongst the chaos of both house moves I really have been able to do a lot of self-reflection and this seems to be a theme throughout my whole life at the moment.  I self doubt and lack confidence in what I do and sometimes even in what I say.  One of the only areas that this doesn’t translate to is my life as a stay at home mom, I am confident in my ability to parent and to be a good mama to little P and to keep my home together.  However I want more……

I want my self belief back! So I guess this post is the first step to reclaiming these parts of me.  Next step is to continue posting and building my blog, I really would like to make it a success and heck to maybe even help someone out there with the things that I write!

I firmly believe in championing those around me, stay at home mom, work at home mom, working mamas (and of course dads) I thing you are all amazing and really would love to hear your stories of feeling or over coming self doubt, please comment below to share.

Mrs P xxxx

2 thoughts on “Self Doubt – getting ‘me’ back

  1. WhatLauraLoves says:

    I can totally understand where you’re coming from. I used to work for a really big company but after an accident, I ended up having to stay at home. I have really bad anxiety so I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to go back to a busy working environment. My life totally changed and I lost a lot of my self belief in that area. Xxx

  2. mrspxoxo says:

    Im sorry to hear that you had to go through that and the impact it had. It may sound strange but as a family last year we went through quite a stressful period and during that time I watched a youtube video where the lady made a gratuity list on a daily basis, although I didn’t do it quite that often I found the process of writing down even the small things that I was thankful for really did help to reduce my anxiety and fears. It was quite a strange thing to do if I’m honest because I’m super thankful and positive about things anyway but the impact for me was pretty big. That really has translated through to any self doubt I have as well. Don’t get me wrong it does creep back in but reading back over my list certainly does help! xx

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